Yesterday I was leaving my office with my heart very achy. I have been missing Otto so much, feeling the hurt so much the past week.  I told him as I gathered my things together and touched the little plate with the owl on it that I needed his help. 

I walked out the door to the parking lot and a deer was there, walking around between the creek and the cars.  A beautiful doe.  I've never seen one there before in the 3 years I've been working there.  It was such a nice hello, such a quick response to my question, when I didn't expect an answer. 

When our baby first died, we would hike and hike and hike in Annadel. Doing our best, one step at a time, comforted by the evening sun over the grasses and we would almost always see a stag, which is very unusual. We saw 16 of them in a month or two, never failing, every time we went out. And we would talk to him, our son, through these deer. We knew it was him, in some way, these mystical creatures. We would know where to go, sometimes we would find them, hear some little sound and follow it and find him, or he would find us, walking through brush and surprising us.

We don't hike as much now, not nearly. We are back in the busyness of life, and we don' t have time every day, we don't make the space, life has crowded back in. It's easier in some ways to be busy, but it can be numbing too, and that's uncomfortable. We cry at night, and it can be hard on each other after a long day to have the other so down, but we understand, it's s lower-level relentless heartache.  A loss that is always felt, but not so poignantly as before. In some ways it's hard to let go of that, to let it be foggy and not sharp.  This is how it goes, though. 

So my baby boy, my Otto, thanks for showing that you are right here, that even when we are down in the hurt of your death  and hurts that started long before that, you are clear. You are beyond. You are like a deer in the city, just beyond the trees by the creek, hidden but there and full of spirit.

Our yard is full of blooming roses and poppies and pansies, the color is cheerful, so helpful. Spring is beautiful.

I love you.

Breathe in Rhythm With Your Activity

Next time you take a walk around the block or a jaunt on the treadmill, dig a ditch or even sweep the floor, breathe in rhythm with your activity. Inhale for three steps, exhale for three steps. Inhale for two sweeps, exhale for two sweeps.

Breathing evenly and in rhythm brings your mind to what you're doing and gives the lungs a great chance to exercise. They love it! So as you're working in the garden or taking a hike, pay attention to rhythm of the breath and you'll have more energy to enjoy it.

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Breathe into the Back

Take a moment to relax and focus on your breath.

As you inhale, visualize your lungs expanding into the back as well as into the front of the chest. You can put your hands on the sides of your rib cage, thumbs in back and four fingers in front, to feel the expansion.

As you breathe, let yourself feel the support of the breath going into your upper back, holding you up, giving strength.

Let your belly, ribs and chest area remain soft and flexible, easily expanding to make room for the lungs. Remember that the more flexible we are for the breath, the easier it is to maintain good posture and flow of breath to the rest of the body.

Enjoy!

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Breathing Through the Nose

The nose cleans, warms and humidifies air before it enters our lungs and by
controlling the volume of our exhale it also helps maintain the correct
balance of oxygen and carbon dioxide in our blood.

If we breathe out too quickly through the mouth, rapidly exhaling large
volumes of carbon dioxide, it can signal the brain to jump to the fight or
flight response, constricting arteries, making us nervous, anxious,
depressed, etc.

It's nice to let the nose help us breathe slowly, keeping our nervous system
relaxed and our bodies flowing efficiently with oxygen.

Take a few slow, even breaths through the nose and enjoy the relaxing
effects. Apply this as often as you can remember through your day!

Thank your nose!

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Breathing the Breath of the Trees

Happy Spring!

Enjoy this visualization as you breathe this week. Close your eyes and imagine...

the trees around your neighborhood and office creating the oxygen that you breathe. Imagine their out-breath as oxygen, a gift from them to us. Feel gratefulness for these beautiful beings that make our most vital nutrient. As you breathe in, feel the tree's influence on your breath.

Now, as you breathe out, you create carbon dioxide, which the trees absorb. Imagine that we give this gift to them. Feel this relationship: as they breathe out, we breathe in their oxygen. As WE breathe out, they breathe in our carbon dioxide. Enjoy the closeness of the trees.

Want to go a step further and help CREATE more trees? Trees for a Change  gives you the chance to plant a tree as a gift in the name of someone you love or work with, want to thank, etc. It's a beautiful idea that is run by Kim Isley, a great advocate for trees.

Listen to those birds sing outside! It's a celebration.  There is so much to celebrate in all times of life.  Remember the joy and the new things of spring.

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Breathing When You're Waiting

When we have to wait for something we tend hold the breath and get impatient. Now you can look forward to those moments as opportunities to take some nourishing, cleansing breaths.

Allow yourself to BREATHE when you're waiting for...

THE INTERNET TO OPEN A PAGE
A DOWNLOAD
THE LIGHT TO CHANGE
TRAFFIC
IN LINE AT THE POST OFFICE OR GROCERY
A MEETING TO END

Step 1 - start with your exhale, let out any frustration

Step 2 - receive a nourishing inhale - imagine that you're fueling your body and being constructive!

Step 3 - Do some stretches with the breath, close your eyes for a second, or do some people watching. Let yourself get out of your head and into your body.

Enjoy!

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Easy Ways to Minimize Stress

Yesterday I gave a short presentation on breath exercises at the Northern California Center for Well-Being, (http://www.norcalwellbeing.org/).  It ended a lecture on managing stress by Dra. Marisol, Host of Nuestros Niños Radio Show.  It was a great reminder of basic things we can do to create harmony in our lives, and I took home some good ideas.

Some suggestions I recommend:

1.)  Cut down on the news.  If it would help you to listen or watch or read the news only once a week, give yourself permission.  Will the world fall apart if we don' t tune in every day to the bad news?  Instead, fill this space with uplifting things. A meditative CD, a walk, connecting to family. 

2.)  Movies/Magazines/Books - In choosing what you'll watch or read as you wind down your day, take into account how it will weigh on your heart and mind.  Let yourself choose something whole and beautiful. Especially if it's right before bed. Set the tone for your subconscious, and sleep will be more restful.

3.) Less Coffee - It's not bad in itself.  But watch how it affects YOU.  Are you lying awake staring at the ceiling? This might be that afternoon  cup.  It doesn't have to be right before bed to affect your system enough to keep you alert when you should be resting. Experiment, see if one cup less makes it easier to sleep. If you get enough sleep you'll feel less stressed.

4.) More Fun - It's a very grown up thing to do.  Allowing some laughter, some movement - a soccer game, a dance class, time with crayons, a walk with a friend, playing music, all these things bring shifts for our nervous system, which in turn makes it easier to handle challenges when they come up. It's putting gas in the car, it's investing in your self.  The more you experience fun, the more you attract it into your life. Sounds good to me!

5.) Breathe - Enjoy your breath, expand your breath.  It is always there for you, and breathing calmly for a few minutes also shifts the nervous system to a calmer place. Breathe slowly, regularly and quietly with attention, and you'll feed your heart and mind.

Looking for the good in life will make it appear. It's always there.  Sometimes people call this a Pollyana outlook - but wait a minute - Pollyana kept quoting "If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will." (Abraham Lincoln).  I think this is very wise. 

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